Remembering Dad

Meting Action Items
  1. Tom to decide if we should put spouse prefix (i.e. Wife or Husband) in front on name in Cao Pho.
    1. Two voted to include prefix and two voted to include
  2. Khanh to inform Jane (funeral coordinator) to keep dad's ashes in one urn
  3. Khanh to ask Jane and let Jackie know if and when to submit video for dad remembrance.
  4. Jackie will send backup of this video to Sy to place on iPad as backup
  5. Khanh to bring 2 six foot Fold out Table 
  6. Linh to get Ice Chest from Khanh and bring 
  7. Sy and Ha to bring 100 egg rolls
  8. Khanh to bring  Waters and Soda, Sparkling Water
  9. Jan to bring Fold out Chairs and space them out or elders spaced out (6 feet)
  10. Linh will also get four chairs from moms house
  11. Peter will also bring around 8 chairs
  12. Peter to bring and setup Popup Tent 
  13. Jan to bring Fruit which are individually packed
  14. Paul will bring Hand Sanitizer
  15. Tom and Yen to bring 50 Sandwiches and bagels
  1. Jan to make white headbands 
  2. Paul to send pictures of masks to verify if it matches headband, if so, will bring masks
  3. Jan will make masks if Paul's masks does not match
  1. Khanh will clarify with Jane if Wi-Fi is strong enough for live streaming 
  2. Peter to record video at ceremony and possibly live stream to Jackie and others
  3. Sy will create playlist once Khanh confirms with Jane the format of audio format for PA system
  4. Sy will take pictures in central viewing location as guests enter
  5. Jan will take pictures of wreaths and send thank you
  6. Jan to greet and usher dad's friends/co-workers 
  7. Linh and Peter to usher mom (Mai) and other guests
  8. Khanh to confirm with Jane about format of slide show format
  9. Sy to help with Slide Show once format is clarified
  10. Sy to setup Next Zoom Meeting o Wednesday  5pm?

Meeting Notes
  1. Cao Pho (Obituary) Clarifications
    1. Describe family, wife, children (16 grand children)
    2. Include all children and spouse
    3. Vo Chong 
    4. Vote
      1. Chong Vo: Yes: Sy and Paul
      2. No: Jackie, Mai Thy 
      3. Neutral: Linh, Peter, Jan, Khanh
      4. Missing: Tom, Tiffany


  1. Ashes Destinations
    1. Splitting Ashes
    2. Half in Vietnam
    3. Half in Mission San Jose Church/Cemetery
    4. Plot in Mission San Jose Church
    5. Mom (Mai) also in Fremont? Decline so only Dad $600
    6. Khanh already have it split into two 
    7. Oldest Brother Bac Tinh (past)
    8. Nhi, Nhung (anh Than) Vinh, 
    9. (dad) 
    10. Bac Nu, 
    11. Co Na, Priest cha Dinh (hard hearing)
    12. Jan to ask Jesuit Student about this and co Na
    13. Peter to ask Priest (no spreading or splitting)
    14. Split  and file permits Khanh to ask tomorrow
    15. Yes: Mai Thy, Linh 
    16. No: Sy, Khanh, Jan, Peter, Paul
    17. Vietnam vs Fremont
    18. Fremont: Paul, Peter, Jan, Sy… :) , Jackie
    19. Vietnam: 
    20. Indifferent: Khanh, Linh, 
    21. Missing: Tom, Tiffany
  2. Funeral General Information
    1. 6100 Stockton Blvd, Sacramento Ca 95824
    2. 10am -12pm Viewing
    3. Priest Talks


  1. 12pm - 1pm Vigil for the deceased 
  2. Cremation after blessing of body
  3. Children Say a few words (among our selves) with video
  4. Jackie to record before hand and send to Khanh?
  5. Khanh to ask when to send a video with words about dad
  6. If not, an iPad is an option
  7. Room open 10am-1p
  8. When to "remember dad" speech?
  1. Food to Bring
    1. Fold out Table: Khanh has 2 six footers 
    2. Ice Chest: Khanh and Linh
    3. Ha Sy: 100 egg rolls
    4. Khanh: Waters and Soda, Sparkling Water
    5. Jan has Fold out Chairs for co Nhung (over 70 people) spaced out (6 feet)
    6. Need more chairs who ever has to bring
    7. Linh can try to get four from mom house
    8. Peter has 8 or 9
    9. Peter: Popup Tent  Peter to bring
    10. Fruit: Jan to bring individually packed
    11. Hand sanitizer: Paul (walmart)
    12. 50 Sandwiches wrapped and bagels :Yen &Tom
  1. People wait with food but stay in cars
  2. Masks and White Head Band Coordination
    1. Children and Spouse and Cousins, grand children, dad's cousin, their children
      , anh Long (oldest Sister Nu Son)  will wear white band, Jan to make
    2. Mask Jan will make, Minh and Paul has thousands
      also have masks, only one size, Paul to check sizes
    3. Paul to text pictures of mask to verify match and then decide
    4. Wear black (or white blouse) 
    5. In Vietnam, black inside, white gown/robe like ao dai outside
    6. Group Text English Text from Jan
  1. Private Live Stream (Peter)
    1. Peter volunteer to record and we can decide to stream later
    2. Jackie to join via Stream Khanh to ask tomorrow
  2. Mass
    1. Background Music, Abba, Kenny Rogers, Simon and Garfunkle, Back street boy, 
    2. Christina Agurella, "I had a dream..", Old lang sine, 
    3. Khanh to ask format ie file or boombox? 
    4. Sy will create playlist.
    5. Priest start 12noon 
    6. Nine people (lacking Jackie)
    7. Vietnamese vs English?
    8. English: Linh, Yes…, Khanh, Sy, Paul
    9. Vietnamese
    10. Reading will be in English, Jan to communicate to Priest
    11. Sermon (homily) in both English and Vietnamese
    12. Cremation
    13. Music Amazing Grace Jackie and Mai Thy to Sing
    14. Take band off (tradition to wear 3 years)
    15. Push button to start cremation (Tom or Linh)
  3. Document Family Members to Come
    1. Pictures taking o people 
    2. At Viewing 
    3. Take pictures of all wreath to send thank yours Jan to take pictures  to t
    4. Could not find any shops, Sacramento Memorial Lawn site has links
    5. Need to call and follow-up
  4. Representative Greeter 
    1. Track 10 people allotment 
      Linh and Peter to help 
    2. Or Smaller Groups 
    3. Jan to coordinate dad's friends/co-workers
    4. Mom (Huong) will not go
    5. Mom (Mai) she want to come back on Thursday
      wants to attend, Thy suggest have her Covid Test, 
      drive herself? Wear 95 mask
      Linh to volunteer to escort mom 
  5. Slide Show
    1. 10 people in room
    2. 40 to 50 pictures (no more than 5)
    3. Khanh to  confirm on video format with his songs in background
      gambler, Sound of Silence, la la lie.. (boxer), Don't cry for me Argentina
    4. Bridge over trouble waters, any Vietnamese songs?
      Ngay sua xa xoi em mau tim? Jan to send song
  6. Sy to setup Next Zoom Meeting o Wednesday  5pm?

It is almost a week since dad's passing. One of the recent memory I have is visiting him Palm Gardens Assistant Living.  I asked the front desk if it was OK to take him out to lunch.  They were very supportive of the idea and had me sign him out.   He prefers going to the car with his wheel chair but propelled himself with the use of his feet.  He straddled thee wheel chair and pushed himself to the car.  They did not have Vietnamese food at the nursing home so we ventured out to Pho in Davis.  The campus was bustling with students and there were no parking in front of the restaurant.  We drove around the block and found a spot a couple blocks away.  The muddy grass on the sidewalk prevented the wheel chair to be placed next to his car door so the only solution is for me to carry him over to the wheel chair.  As I lifted dad, I was shocked at how light and frail he was.  He also let out a yell since he was frightened with being lifted off the ground.  His loud yelp also freaked me a little but I gently put him in the wheel chair and he seemed to enjoyed being pushed thru the UCD fraternities and store fronts.  

We then ordered Pho and spring rolls.  Dad really enjoyed the familiar food that seem familiar yet not available.  Dad is not one for verbose conversations so we just sat together and enjoyed the company and good food.  There were other students and even families where parents were visiting the school.  I did not know how much longer dad would be able to venture out like this so I treasured the few moments of silence we had together.  We did not have to speak with words but just sitting with dad and enjoying a meal together was all the mattered.  


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